Monday, November 29, 2010

Vampires for Africa

This post is written all-in-good-fun and is in no way meant to offend. The party specifically mentioned has given her express permission to be poked fun of.

If you have known me any length of time or have ever been around me when the topic of the Twilight series (sorry - "saga") comes up, then you know that I am vehemently opposed to reading those books. Ever. It's not that I think the books are evil or amoral. I don't have something against vampires or teen romance (well, maybe a tiny bit on that last one). I simply refuse to be associated with the crazed fans of Twilight - neither the screaming teenage girls or the age-inappropriate, not-so-secretly-swooning grown women. Nothin' doin'. Not now, not ever.

Well. Cue the exception to the aforementioned declaration: I love orphans more than I hate Twilight and I have a very devious best friend who just happens to be one of the crazed fanatics mentioned above. So, when I sent out a letter telling my friends and family that I would be looking for creative ways to raise money for my Uganda mission trip, unbeknownst to me, my fate was sealed. 

For two years, my "best friend" (hereafter refereed to as "The Devious One") has badgered me with pleas to read Twilight. My response was always, "Not gonna happen." To which she would respond, "Will there ever be anything that could get you to read it?" 

Knowing that, while devious, my best friend is not likely to cause me bodily harm to get me to read a book, I would reply, "If I am ever on bed-rest, I might-maybe-could-possibly be talked into reading it, otherwise - forget it." 

Then one fateful day, The Devious One laced her pleas with guilty-ridden whispers of, "If you were really my best friend, you would read this book. It would mean so much to me and I'm asking you to do me this one favor - as my friend." This went on for fifteen straight minutes until the desperate entreaties ringing in my ears had to be stopped at all costs. In a frantic huff, I agreed to read the first five chapters - one for each year of best-friendship. The Devious One however, was only momentarily satisfied and I could see in her eyes that she would not settle for only this.

Then, before I knew what had happened, The Devious One was offering me financial support for my Uganda trip if I read the entire Twilight book. (How's that for creative?) Now the whispers rang with words of, "How much do you really want to go to Uganda and work with those orphans? Enough to read Twilight???"

The Devious One's schemes have worked and after two years, she has finally discovered a way to force my hand into reading Twilight. However, before I start this venture, I am looking for a few more Twilight die-hards to join in The Devious One in sponsoring my reading of this much despised book. I know there are a number of you who know exactly how deep my distaste goes (J.S., S.H., J.D. - you know who you are), so this is your chance to prove to me how wonderful this book is. Any takers?

If so, leave me a comment saying you'll sponsor me on this devious challenge of madness, then go to and click “Donate” in the upper right hand corner. (Specify the donation for my trip – “March 18-27, 2011, Uganda Trip” and designate the funds to “Jennifer Hanson”). All gifts are tax deductible.

Check back here for an update on my progress - I'll let you know when I start and what I think once I'm finished. 

It's on.


  1. I thought I'd laugh, and I just want you to know that I'm not :) I'm sort of snickering at the *idea*, but I totally get your opposition to them and while it's a totally awesome cause, it's a bummer for you in *how* you're reading them :) I'm a reader of the most intense sort, have been since I was 4, so for me, the idea of ever being forced to read something takes all the fun and joy out of it - examples: many of the books in high school I read for English class I hated then, but have since enjoyed in re-reads later in life.

    If I weren't broke I'd be totally sending you some cash *anyway* (and if the job opp I found out about yesterday works out, there still might be a chance of that happening) but rest assured you have my prayer coverage for the whole of your preparations and the trip itself. Let me know if there's anything specifically I can be praying for and as stuff comes up so I can be praying :) *hugs*

  2. I won't read Twilight because I'm afraid I'll get sucked in and not be able to stop. Same reason I don't watch TV.

    But if someone wanted to sponsor a trip to Cambodia in exchange for reading it, I'd say BRING IT.

    Have fun! Can't wait to see how much you like it. ;)

  3. I would actually suggest that you NOT read it. Megan would kill me for saying that, but it is way too addicting. I deleted the books from my iphone because I am always tempted to start reading them again. John and I are planning on supporting this trip as soon as we get his Christmas Bonus, but if it means it will make Megan happy, then I will only give you money if you read this book! (it really is soo good)

  4. I'm in. And, by the way - it's "Twi-hards," not "Die-hards"...if you please. :-)

  5. They are actualy so bad they're funny--although Bella is an annoying Mary Sue with no personality, but lots of clinical depression and a huge helping of intense co-dependency. Jacob is pretty cool. You'll laugh, I promise ;)


Got some Notions of your own about this post? Share them!