Why Extreme Hoarders Aren't Completely Crazy

The other day, I was viewing with morbid fascination TLC's Hoarders: Buried Alive. I'm watching these people who are literally being consumed by their possessions and all the while dishing out an unfair dose of judgment and pity on these pour strangers (which I cringe to admit after my previous post about judgement).

One guy was a compulsive shopper in addition to being a chronic hoarder (bad combo as you might imagine). The other lady featured was an extreme hoarder whose house was stuffed to the brim with things that she had dug out of trash bins, saved from roadside pick-up and snatched from thrift store cast-offs in hopes that she could give the items to someone who might be able to use them. As you might imagine, she did not fine people to give the items to and they have been collecting dust in her house for years. She couldn't even have her grandchildren come visit because her home was so unsafe due to the piles and piles of stuff.

I'm staring aghast at the way these people are living and raging in my head against the ridiculousness of being so attached to stuff. The Horders literally required psychiatric help in order to remove stuff from their homes without having a complete nervous breakdown. (Please know that I do understand that extreme hoarding stems in part from a phyicatric condition and is usually a symtom of a deeper issue. I do not intend to make light of that fact.) I was angry to see this addiction to stuff while knowing there are millions of people in the world living without even their basic needs met.

Then I realized my hypocrisy and that in some way, most ALL of us are too attached to our stuff. Stuff we don't really need. Stuff we want just because we want something new. Stuff we don't use, but won't get rid of. Stuff we buy to fit in. Stuff we buy to make ourselves feel better. The likelihood is, that if you live in a first-world culture, you have a stuff addiction on some level. 

Then I started looking at the hoarders a little differently and got really irritated at all the "stuff" and why it exists in the first place and why it's available for hoarding at all.

Let's look at the compulsive shopper gentleman, who shopped to have something to do and to make himself feel better. Yes, the level of his actions are extreme, but the "shop to feel better about yourself" is an advertising gimmick that companies rope us in with over and over again. And this man has fallen prey to the mindset that possessions equals happiness. (If you're interested, you can read my post, The Dark Lie of Happiness, that covers this topic.)

Then there is the grandma who can't have her family visit because her house is overtaken by stuff. But really, should I be completely appalled by her actions? She is having a hard time throwing away things because she knows they are in good condition and useful. Maybe not useful to her, but they ARE useful and wasting them by tossing them in the dumpster is giving her a panic attack. It suddenly hit me that in some ways she is totally right to feel that way. Those mounds of possessions ARE useful but people have just thrown them away. Perhaps this lady's "problem" isn't hoarding at the core, but it is seeing the wastefulness of others and not knowing how to try and stop it. Her "crazy" compulsion to save these items has its roots in the consumer habits of others. Those who buy more than they need. Who toss things they could still use in order to replace it with something "better", "cooler", or just "newer" for the sake of having something new. People like me. People like you. The amount of stuff our culture purchases, tosses and replaces should be giving us all panic attacks. Especially if we compare it to the shocking lack of stuff most people of the world live with (40% of the world's population lives on less than $2.00 a day).


The more days of my life that tick by, the more I find that stuff means increasingly less and less to me. I'm slowly but surely learning to live with less, or take better care of the useful things I already have, and in the process, I'm loving it. This change was kick-started a few years ago -  after coming face-to-face with extreme poverty during my two trips to Uganda, Africa. It's hard after something like that to justify having an excess of things when others around the world (some whom I've met personally) are living without even the basic necessities (clean water, shelter, food, clothing). Though I still have more than I need, and still fall prey to marketing gimmicks, I'm finding I really enjoy the simplicity and lack of clutter. I'm a "recovering consumer" trying to bring my materialist habits under control - for my benefit and the benefit of those in need.

Yes, I will (likely) always have stuff, and stuff in itself isn't always bad. Too little stuff (as in, "I don't have food on the table or cloths on our backs") is bad and too much stuff (as in, wasteful, exploitive consumerism) is bad. Somewhere in between (but I would argue on the  frugal, generous side of the spectrum) would seem to be a good place to land for most of us.


I'm reading an interesting book right now called, Consumer Detox and the author takes a really balanced approach on the whole consumerism issue. One (of many) points he makes that I really liked was this: "Freedom [from consumerism] isn't when our possessions mean nothing to us. We are physical beings - we will always express ourselves using physical things. But the way we use our possessions can become something different."

Some simple ideas for how to "use our possessions for something different": 

• Shop with companies who help break the cycle of poverty (three of my favorites: Punjammies, 31 Bits, Sseko Designs) 

• Fix things instead of throwing them away and take better care of the items you already have (allowing you to produce less waste, slow down the consumer machine, and give the money you save to help someone in need)

• Buy used or repurposed items (thrift stores can provide an incredible supply of used clothing and items that are just calling out for a little loving creativity to make them awesome again)

Any other ideas you'd care to add? I'd love to hear about them!

Simplicity

Even the word itself - simplicity - rolls off the tongue and floats through the mind like some delightful, whispered secret. I spelled it out in scrabble letters on my fridge and even loved the way the word looked.

But more than that - I love what the word can mean. When I think about what simplicity means, it conjures a feeling that is like an emotional lungful of fresh air after being choked in a polluted city for months or years. I look around my small apartment, that in reality is more than enough space for the four of us, and feel choked at times by the amount of stuff and clutter around me. 


Yes, I know I have two small babies and the messiness of a young family is going to be a part of my life for many years to come, but I can't help feeling that there is still just Too Much. Too much to look at, to much to clean, too much to organize, too much to pick up and too much to find a place for (don't even get me started on the Too Much of our possessions compared to the rest of the world). If the Too Much was lessened - simplified - to only the things that we really needed and loved, this place we called home would not only take me less time to clean and maintain, but could turn into a welcoming haven rather than a stuffed-to-the-brim kingdom of Stuff. 


There are so many other reasons that The Stuff has me itching to purge. Two of the big ones being that I want to be able to welcome people over to our home on a moment's notice without wondering how much clutter I'll have to clear away before they'll have a place to sit. And two, our lease is up in December. I don't know if we'll move and if we move I don't know where to, but I do know that if we stay here I can not live in this clutter and if we move somewhere else I'll be darned if I pack, unpack and find a new place for anything that I don't truly need or love. December is a ways away, but I also have to be realistic - I've got infant twins and de-cluttering this whole apartment in a major way is going take some serious time. Time that needs to be spread gently over a long stretch of months so I don't stress myself (and my family) out. My goal in finding simplicity is about creating a haven of peace in our home and overcommitting in order to purge will do nothing to create peace in the interim. 


In honor of my new journey towards simplicity - our apartment first and along with it our life and focus as a family - I've redesigned my blog with something clean and uncomplicated. Much like the clutter of my apartment, the layers and layers of this blog's design suddenly made me cringe to look at. And unlike the clutter of my apartment, I can revamp this blog while one of the twins sleeps on my lap. 

Oh, I probably should have mentioned that I'm reading Organized Simplicity right now which is why am about to go NUTS on this apartment! I'm just itching to be home full time so I can start simplifying this place. Watch out material things - I'm about to get'cha.