I spent SIX years in jail...

...and didn’t pass “Go” once during that whole time!

(click here for Devin's version of the story)

Devin and I played Monopoly the other night and for six consecutive rounds I was incapable of keeping my act clean and did not once make it past the “Go to Jail” square.

But, I learned some things during all my time in the slammer:

• Don’t hang out on Illinois Ave... Shady things happen there. Like rolling every possible combination of six (thus landing directly on the head of a police officer.)

• When one is constantly going to jail (directly to jail), one does not pass “Go” and does not collect $200, making it neigh impossible to purchase property when a double roll finally gets you out of the clink on good behavior. 

• Life is not fair - much of it is chance and plain dumb luck (or baffling, statistically unmatched un-luck in my case) 

• In this game there is only one winner.  If you spend most of your time rotting in the pokey, it ain't gonna be you babe.

• My husband will come to visit his jailbird wife, but he will not bail me out. Rather, he will spend that money on buying property. On which he will build houses and hotels. With which he will gouge me for every penny, making me wish I were back in jail where the rent was only $50.