Friday, December 10, 2010

Vampires for Africa (part 2)

Well. I did it. With much reluctance, I sank my teeth into Twilight (bad pun intended and inspired by too much of Stephenie Meyer's mediocre-at-best writing abilities.)

In case you missed it, I have been diabolically coerced into reading Twilight by my so-called best friend in order to raise money for my mission trip to Uganda, Africa.

I am through the first nine chapters. Bella has just discovered her unconditional love for Edward, Edward has confessed to being a vampire and I am in serious danger of dislodging my eyeballs from rolling them so often. 

However, as I'd hate to offend any of the Twi-hards out there, I won't mention how much I dislike being inside the head of a whiny, neurotic, obsessive teen girl. Nor will I bring up the fact that I think Edward is a creepy, controlling stalker punk and I want to smack him.

If I was bringing up things like that, I might mention how unintentionally funny I think this book is. Favorite laugh-out-loud lines so far:

"I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me." - Bella

"Aren't you hungry?' he asked, distracted.
"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full - of butterflies.

I might also mention (if I were mentioning things) that I recently had an amusing conversation with Megan (the cunning behind this scheme) that further solidified my opinions of the book.

I told Megan that, even to someone like me who had read her fair share of cheesy chick-lit novels, Twilight seemed incredibly ridiculous and very poorly written. I challenged her to counter me on the latter point, as she is a high school English teacher after all. 

"Well yeah." She retorted smugly, "It's written for teenagers."

I was baffled and quite unsure why she seemed so proud of that fact. "Yeah." I replied. "Which is exactly why I didn't want to read it and why it creeps me out that so many grown women are obsessed with this book!" (pointed look in Megan's direction)

But, because I'm not mentioning my true thoughts on Twilight (believe me, this was the edited version), I will end with this disclaimer to the above criticism:

I've never written a novel and I don't claim that I could (the biggest difference between myself and Ms. Meyer). Also, I think vampires are cool, they've always being one of my favorite fictional creatures. However, I've read enough good literature to know when a story (even chick-lit) is lacking. But that's just my opinion and I know a whole lot of people don't share it. ::shrug:: You say "tomaytoes", I say "tomawtoes." You say romantic vampire, I say crazy stalker. Whatever.

Onward I trudge through the remaining fifteen chapters. I will get to Africa, even if it means finishing this book. 


  1. "You say romantic vampire, I say crazy stalker." Hahahahaha! I love it! I'm going to see if I can find someone to pay me to read this before we go to Cambodia. ;)

  2. Funnest and funniest blog thus far. I didn't read the books, but thought the movies was okay. Not compelled to see the sequels. Oh, wait, I did see one of the sequels, but forgot. I rest my case.


Got some Notions of your own about this post? Share them!