Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Facing the Sunshine

"Keep your face to the sunshine
and you cannot see the shadows."

- Helen Keller -

I've been a bit MIA in the the blogosphere the last couple of weeks - at least in regards to doing or posting anything significant. There is just so much to process in my current circumstances and I guess my brain has been a little overwhelmed. But there is a lot to be grateful for and many ways in which this trial is growing, shaping and strengthening me. Today, I'll choose to focus on those things. And tomorrow, I will again make the choice to focus on the sunshine.

Things I'm learning:
  • I have a unique opportunity during this time to appreciate and experience the burden of providing that husbands have to carry.
  • I'm seeing Devin express a deep desire to take that burden from me, as soon possible. This is encouraging for me to see and I am grateful that my husband wants to fill that role so passionately. 
  • During this season of jobless limbo, Devin has been spending so much time in prayer and really searching himself and his relationship with God in order to find direction. It has been a great source of joy for me during this time to see how he's growing and hear about all he is learning. His leadership skills are definitely being honed. 
  • God has brought along two amazing men to mentor and help guide Devin through this process.
  • I'm learning patience and learning not to look too far into the future - which just causes me to worry, which does nobody a bit of good.
  • For the most part, I've been uncharacteristically calm during this time. I think that one of three things is happening: A) I'm in shock. B) I'm in denial. C) God slipped me a spiritual sedative. (I'm gonna go with 'C')
  • I am aware that a stressful situation such as job loss could very easily push Devin and I apart, but by God's provision and some deliberate choices on our part, this time has served to draw us closer. 

I can't deny that there are too many days where I succumb to the stress, or that there are days when I struggle with selfishness and even (brace yourselves) resentment. But there is still so much to be thankful for.  I'm trying my darnedest to focus on those good things first and keep them in the forefront of my mind.

The days when I do give in to those negative feelings, I am learning that I have a husband who loves me and cherishes me despite how ugly I act. If he can still find me lovable during those ugly times, how much deeper must God unconditionally care for me? What an incredible, tangible example of God's love our husbands can show us!

Q4U-  Tell me about a time when your spouse demonstrated for you a small glimpse of the kind of love God has for you.

1 comment:

  1. Every single day. He may not be perfect but he really strives to serve me every day. I'm so blessed. And probably not as thankful as I should be.


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