Thursday, June 30, 2011

Double Denial

A friend requested that I do a little pregnancy update over here on the blog, so here I am to give you a peak inside some of the twin-mama brain activity (or lack there of) happening right now.

Pregnant with Twins at 25 Weeks:

The other day, my sister-in-law asked Devin and I what stage we were at in regards to preparing for the twins (meaning – nursery set-up, shopping, names, etc). Without even looking at each other, Devin and I answered her question in a sort-of dazed deadpan. “Denial,” we said in tandem.

Yep major, big time, not-much-is-getting-done-because-of-it denial going on over here. Seriously – the babies could arrive in 12 weeks (hopefully no sooner) and we gotta snap out of this. Which would probably be easier if we weren’t both so exhausted (Devin from working at 3:00am, me from not sleeping well and growing two humans inside of me). 

What's more, according to all my twin-mama friends, that little burst of nesting energy in the second trimester just doesn't happen with twin pregnancies. Which is a bummer because I was kinda counting on that. Instead I've got denial and an ever-increasing pile of To Do's.

Examples:

I should probably be stocking up on all the money-saving, baby item deals that my mama friends keep sending me. But when I see the deals I think, “We’ve got time, I don’t need to get that just yet.” Then by the time I’ve convince myself that we don’t in fact have a ton of time, the deal is already gone.

I should probably be reading some sort of literature (even if it’s just one book) about what to do after the twins arrive. I’ve educated myself on how I’d like to get them here, just not what to do with them once they arrive. Now, I’m the oldest of five and was thirteen by the time sibling #2 arrived, so I did my share of diaper duty, bottle feeding and rocking fussy babies. I know that I'm probably more prepared than many first-time mamas, yet I still feel something akin to panic coming on.

I should probably do something about our half-baked nursery that doesn't even have the basics ready. The crib for example - I've heard that's kinda the number one basic to have ready. However, the one-of-two cribs that is assembled is currently being used as storage space for all the baby stuff that I have no idea what to do with or where to put (which is pretty much all of it). 

So all of this - and a slew of other To Do's - have landed me in this state of overwhelmed-to-the-point-of-inactivity called "denial." It doesn't help that there are some potential events such as bed rest or early labor that could cut down my "get it done" time considerably. You'd think that would motivated me - but no such luck. 

There are a few things that are getting done - I'm eating healthy, I'm exercising, I'm going to my doctor's appointments and natural birthing classes. So my "pregnancy" basics are covered. Which is to say, I'm certainly not in denial that I'm pregnant, just that this pregnancy is inevitably due (har har) to produce two infants. And that, my friends, is something I just can't get my brain around enough to prepare for.

7 comments:

  1. Jen -- for some reason I completely see that being me one day. Is there a day you'd like me to come over and cross some things off the list? I think if we break down your "To do" list into SMALLER increments -- you'd be surprised how much could get done! I'd love to help. Seriously. Just text me what day works best -- but before the 12th cause I'm heading to Texas then!

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  2. If I lived closer, I'd be right over. I've got NO advice, but I love you and I'm praying for you rightthissecond.

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  3. I'm not sure what the hurry is all about. We didn't prepare our nursery till I quite work 2 weeks before Dustin was born. And then he was 2 weeks late.

    As far as reading books about after the boys are born....just give them to the grammas!

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  4. The awesome thing about baby deals...they'll come around again!

    And for what its worth, I'll probably be going through these same emotions some day too. And you have quite the advantage over me - someone who has never been around babies! And while I am in no position to give you advice, I am here for you to help you in anyway you might need it! :)

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  5. I'm with you. LOL. I'm at 32 weeks now and the nursery is torn apart. Really. It was Emmett's room and now it could be called...storage. Needs to be painted. Dresser and vanity need to be painted. Crib needs to be put together. Walls decorated. I have washed all the used clothing we've bought and it's hanging in the closet. Still need to get about a dozen GMD Workhorse NB diapers. So, when we get all that done, I'll be finished! Hoping she doesn't come as early as Emmett b/c that would leave me with a whopping 6 weeks at this point! Yikes! Oh, and I still have to get all of our home birth supplies (extra sheets, towels, blankets etc)...

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  6. God, Please give Jen the motivation and energy she needs to get things ready for her babies. Help her not to worry or stress, but to take things one at a time and enjoy this process. Please continue to make her babies healthy and strong and growing. Help her know what are the most important things so she can do those first and not get bogged down with unnecessary things. Thank you so much for these precious miracles! In Jesus' name, Amen.

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  7. I'm sure you're familiar with this classic--happened to see it on a blog (of a mom of 7) after I read your post and thought maybe they were connected and you needed it in front of you. And Bethany prayed the main question of our hearts: "what IS the next thing?"

    A poem quoted by Elisabeth Elliot
    Do The Next Thing

    "At an old English parsonage down by the sea,
    there came in the twilight a message to me.
    Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven
    that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.
    And all through the hours the quiet words ring,
    like a low inspiration, 'Do the next thing.'
    Many a questioning, many a fear,
    many a doubt hath its quieting here.
    Moment by moment, let down from heaven,
    time, opportunity, guidance are given.
    Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,
    trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.
    Do it immediately, do it with prayer,
    do it reliantly, casting all care.
    Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,
    who placed it before thee with earnest command.
    Stayed on omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,
    leave all resultings, do the next thing.
    Looking to Jesus, ever serener,
    working or suffering be thy demeanor,
    in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,
    the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.
    Do the next thing."

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