I've shared before about my battle with depression and how God walked me through that valley. It was a journey I hope never to repeat, yet at the same time I know that should I face those struggles again, God will again walk me through it.
During those deepest, darkest hours of depression there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. The darkness had consumed any perceivable light in my life. I had no hope and felt I would be in this pit forever. I felt betrayed by friends who didn't understand or support me during my struggle; who turned their back at the sight of my pain. I felt forsaken by a God who, despite my pleading to be free from the grasp of this darkness, seemed to have left me alone with my fearful, despairing thoughts.
Yet, in the end, the Light did shine brighter than the darkness. God used and is still using those dark hours to show His glory in my life.
Today is Good Friday and this morning I was reading in my Bible the story of Jesus' betrayal; His pleading with God in the garden; His closest friend deserting Him; Peter's denial; God forsaking Him in His darkest hour... and I realized how familiar it all seemed. Those feelings and situations were something I could relate to (though not nearly to the same level of course). I have experienced my Good Friday.
Then I thought about the irony of the name "Good Friday." How can a day which was so dark and full of such deep pain be called "Good"? Because Friday was not it end of the story - it could not be called Good if it was. My battle with depression was not the end of my story, and thus is was Good. Today is remembered as Good because God brought redemption out of the darkest day in history by raising Christ from the dead and providing forgiveness for our sins. And in my life, God gave me healing from my depression and turned something terribly painful into something Good.
It is a Good Friday and even as I reflect today on my own darkest moments, I can say with confidence that God has brought His Good from those awful days.
Beautifully written. Good Friday, for sure.
ReplyDeleteYour beautifully written blog has blessed me so much this Good Friday. Love you.
ReplyDeleteWonderful Blog Post. Thanks for being so open. I know its not the same AT ALL, but I am feeling super depressed in here and your post put a lot in perspective. Love you
ReplyDeleteWe were just talking about this at bible study last night. I shared that God intervenes in those seemingly "impossible" moments because it is only in those moments that man cannot be credited -- all Glory is given to God.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful Friday :)
Thanks for sharing Jen. I have also have a history of depression (Bipolar disorder, actually) and have experienced those terrible dark moments you describe. But as you say (so eloquently!) those dark moments certainly make us grateful for the light at the end of the tunnel! :)
ReplyDeleteAmen, girl!
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