Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Goal #45 Complete: Love & Respect

Goal #45 COMPLETE -  Watch the marriage series Love and Respect with Devin or with a small group 

Devin and I had the opportunity to watch this series with our young married's class at church and it was unbelievably good! We are actually borrowing the DVDs to watched it again at home because there was just so much good information to absorb and apply, I felt I needed another go at it. (Yes, I - I needed a little extra help with the concept of respect, it's true.)

The series looks at the principle that a woman's deepest need is unconditional love and man's deepest need is unconditional respect. And wouldn't you know it - that's just want the Bible pointed out 2000+ years ago in the book of Ephesians, chapter 5: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord" (verse 22) and "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (verse 25). God knew that we wouldn't "get it"and that we needed a command in scripture to help us fulfill the deepest needs of our spouse. 

This love and respect teaching (especially the respect part) is so against current culture, but Dr. Eggerich shows how science, scripture and our human nature back up this principle again and again. This series is truly amazing and I wish every couple could (would) go through it - I am convinced that our marriages would be stronger and the divorce rate would go down if people applied this teaching. Now that I've learned a little about the things that trigger problems in marriages, and the simple principles for fixing/avoiding them, I am heartbroken when I witness those harmful traits in marriages.

I say "simple principles" because it is still a difficult teaching. The principles in Love and Respect take patience, selflessness, awareness, hard work and a whole lot of laying your life down for another. There are still so many parts that I make me say, "Huh? How??" 

Honestly, I'm a chick and I don't get the unconditional respect thing - I absolutely understand why it's so important to a man, I just don't get how to do it very well. As Dr. Eggerich says, "We live in a love-dominated, post-feminism culture. Unconditional respect is a foreign concept to most of us." (paraphrase)

But I'm learning, little by little. In the process I'm realizing that there are times when I can't do this on my own - times when I can not respect my husband in the way he longs to be respected - without depending on God for help. God made Devin with the desire for respect, He made me with the desire for love, so it is only natural that sometimes I just won't get it. Fortunately, God "gets" us both and can help us as we learn to treat each other in a way that honors God and His design of men and women.

"Women need love. Men need respect. It's as simple and as complicated as that."  
- Dr. Emerson Eggerich

If you're unable to see the DVD seminar, these teaching can also be found in Dr. Eggerich's book by the same title.

1 comment:

  1. Glad it is so good! We are going to be doing the series starting next week! Now I can't wait :)


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