Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Unoffical Date That Wouldn't End

(our first picture together in 2008)

Two years ago today, after a 24-hour period of obvious stalling, Devin asked me to be his girlfriend. It is actually quite an amusing story...

“The Un-Official Date That Wouldn’t End”

Our first date actually started out as a non-date: just two good friends (who both happened to have unspoken feelings for one another) going on a hike up South Mountain. Following the hike, I was going to assist Devin in shooting engagement pictures for his friends, Kenny and Tara.

“He is going to ask you out at the top of the mountain,” my dad predicted when I told him about our plans. “But I bet you he’ll chicken out. That’s just how guys are.”

Sure enough, one long hike, much flirting and plenty of perfect opportunities later, Devin and I were still “just friends.” Devin had indeed, “chickened out” (he’ll even tell you so!). To buy himself a little more time, Devin treated me to gelato at Dulce Luna, but still did not broach the subject of dating. In fact, we spent the entire time taking about the weather and how nice hammocks were for weather like this. Missed opportunity number two.

Opportunity number three: I showed up early for the photo shoot I was assisting him with. Tara and Kenny had rescheduled for a little later in the afternoon, but Devin, still trying to get up the gumption to ask me out, had failed to mention this change of plans to me.

However, when I arrived at his parents’ house and found we still had over 45 minutes before our shoot, I decided to take a nap to recover from our hike earlier that day. So, I slept on the couch and Devin missed yet another opportunity.

I assisted Devin in shooting Kenny and Tara’s engagement pictures. They were probably entirely confused, as they knew Devin had planned to ask me out at the top of South Mountain, yet neither of us had spoken of it.

After the shoot, we went to Devin’s brother and sister-in-law’s house for a game night. On the way there, Devin bought me dinner at Panda Express.

We opened our fortune cookies and mine said something about being talented and his something about creativity. I laughed and remarked on the accuracy of our predicted qualities. To this he responded, “Yeah, those two things go great together…”

Silence. Pause.

Missed opportunity number four.

We arrived at Derek and Kristin’s house and I practically dragged Kristin into the next room. “Is he going to ask me out or not?!” I demanded.

Kristin had been the initial matchmaker in trying to get us together, so I figured she’d know. She claimed she didn’t.

“He took me on a hike, he bought me ice cream, we shot engagement pictures together, he bought me dinner and nothing! It’s like the un-official date that won’t end!!”

She said something about being patient… but I think in my frustration I had stopped listening. After all, if we were going to be friends- fine. If we were going to date- fine. I just wanted him to pick one already!

Game night was over, it was past midnight and Devin was driving me back to my car.

“You know,” he started, “I have really enjoyed our friendship over the past few months.”

Here it comes!

“You have been so encouraging to me and I…” He swallowed, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”


“I’ve enjoyed it too,” I replied (or something equally lame).

Silence. Pause. Silence. Missed opportunity number… I’ve lost count.

Now we were a few yards away from where my car was parked and I was resolved to the fact that it was just not going to happen that night.

“Soooo…” he says.

I held my breath.

“I think that we should talk,” he paused, “about us.”

I broke out into a huge grin, which apparently encouraged him to proceed.

“But not tonight, because it’s too late. Can I take you to breakfast before church tomorrow?”

I agreed, he dropped me off at my car, and I drove home with a huge smile on my face.

I received a text message on my phone shortly after we parted, “Before you go to bed or at some point in the morning, I want you to pray about tomorrow’s breakfast. I want this to be a ‘sacred moment’ in our lives. Sleep well, do not be anxious and thank you for an AMAZING day :-) I know God is a strong part of this, whatever ‘this’ is.”

I replied that wasn’t anxious at all, because I knew God was in this too, but that I would read Philippians 4:3-7 just as a good reminder. In reading that section of scripture, I came across Philippians 4:8, which we later used as the “theme verse” for our relationship.

Sunday morning arrived and Devin took me to Pleasant Croissant, a wonderful little Croissant shop in Tempe.

After ordering our breakfast and finding a quiet seat outside, Devin finally announced his intentions.

“In case you didn’t know… I kinda like you,” he said.


I laughed (okay, it was probably more like a giggle), “I kinda like you too, in case you didn’t know.”

“So I guess that makes it official,” he observed.

And thus began our dating relationship… nearly 24 hours after our first “unofficial date” started.

(It wasn’t until 4 months later that a friend of Devin’s, upon hearing the above story, pointed out that he hadn’t ACTUALLY asked me out yet. Devin amended that faux pas immediately.)

Q4U- Tell me about your first date with your spouse.


  1. She was unofficially engaged to another guy. I figured it wasn't "official" so she was fair game. And besides, the guy was at another college WAY far away. She told me she couldn't go on a date with me because she was taken. So I asked her to simply walk around the football field with me. We met that way for several walks until, one evening, our hands brushed together, clasped each other, and I suppose it was official at that point. Somewhere in there she broke off the unofficial engagement with the guy WAY far away.

  2. Cute post, Jen!
    and as for the Q4U---still waiting on that!

  3. We went out to Chinese for our first date (it was supposed to be the two of us plus a friend of mine, but he conveniently worked it out so she couldn't come). I'm pretty sure he asked me out over IM. Haha! While we were there I had the brilliant idea to eat these super hot pepper things they put on our plates. I cried from the heat, and I remember saying something lame like "this is the first time you've ever seen me cry! the first of many, I'm sure." On the way home his Mom called. He told her, "I can't talk Mom, I'm...uh...on a date." Poor guy.

    I can't believe that was six and a half years ago! Wow.


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