Confessions of a Reluctant Chef

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here.

Goal #14: Make dinner two nights a week for one month - COMPLETE
Goal #15: Try a new recipe once a week for one month - COMPLETE


I am not a cook. Or rather, I've never understood the allure of cooking for enjoyment. Cooking to me serves a functional purpose only - it is a means to an end. The end being placing some form of nutrition (decent tasting if all goes well) on the table. Hopefully said cooking will also result in a bounty of leftovers so that I don't have to cook again for a few days. 


Cooking is not my forte, which is unfortunate because I like eating and serving good food. My lack of cooking skills is also a little embarrassing because I come from a long line of great cooks - my Grandma was an amazing cook and never used recipes (a gene I did not inherit), my mom is a fantastic cook (I seriously engorged myself on her cooking when I visit), my mom-in-law and sister-in-laws are excessively gifted in the kitchen (we're talking pretty-to-look-at, yummy-to-eat appetizers, side dishes, main dish, salads and deserts all one meal. You'll be lucky if you get bread with your casserole when I'm cooking.) Even my husband is a better cook than I am. Sheesh.


So you can imagine that tackling these goals was a little intimidating to me. Honestly - a lot of it came down to pride. I like to excel and since so many people I know do this whole cooking thing so much better than me, I had a "why even bother" attitude. This is what I do when I foresee myself not being excellent at something - I just don't try it. Yep. Firstborn Failure Anxiety Syndrome (so not a real disease but a condition that has definitely burrowed itself deep in my psyche for most of my life). 


But daggoneit if I wasn't a stay-at-home wife and mom now and daggonit it if I wasn't going to learn to cook and enjoy it! (Whoa - I just had a flashback to the "Say sorry and mean it" days of childhood discipline.)


Being mildly handicapped in the culinary arts, I started out slow - two meals a week. (The other meals were filled with simple stuff like sandwiches, canned soup, eggs and cereal - you know, the stuff we normally eat when I don't feel like cooking.) I also forced myself to 1) Try at least one new recipe each week and 2) Base the recipes on items we already had in the fridge/freezer/pantry mixed with foods that were on sale at the grocery store.


WEEK ONE: 
Meal: Crockpot Applesauce Chicken over brown rice (new recipe)
Verdict: FAILURE. This recipe was bland, dry and beyond saving. We still ate it though and I finished the two meals-worth of leftovers (I didn't want to force Devin to join me in that task). Nothing like starting out your cooking attempts with a colossal failure, eh? But at least I didn't burn it and that's something right? Right???


Meal: Spaghetti with ground beef and red pasta sauce
Verdict: Yep -  I pretty much cheated on this one because honestly, does browning ground beef, boiling pasta and pouring over it frozen pasta sauce that your husband made from scratch really count as cooking? Probably not, but I totally didn't care - I made dinner. So there.


WEEK TWO:
Meal: Cambodian Lemongrass Chicken Curry over brown rice (new recipe)
Verdict: Devin and I love curry dishes so this one was a huge hit for both of us. Just the right amount of that make-you-sweat spiciness that curries are famous for. I used a pack of fancy pre-mixed curry powder my in-laws gave us forever ago, so I probably won't repeat this particular recipe simply for cost reason, but it was G.O.O.D. 


Meal: Asarargus Soup (new recipe)
Verdict: This was a good soup, or would have been if I had left out the pepper. The recipe called for 1 tbs and I halved that and it was still way too much. Next time, no pepper. I also added about a tablespoon of butter and little tabasco sauce. I would make this again with my adjusted recipe. 


WEEK THREE:
Meal: Chicken Taco Cornbread Pie (new recipe)
Verdict: Loved this. Super easy and really, really tasty. When I make it again, I'll try added a layer of black beans to give it a little more heartiness.  


Meal: Crockpot Sweet and Sour Chicken over brown rice (new recipe)
Verdict: Super good. I varied the recipe to make it cheaper and simpler and just cooked the chicken in the sauce, then added one bag of frozen peppers to the pot for the last half hour. If you make this - don't cook it for more that 4-5 hours on low. Very yummy with lots of leftovers.


WEEK FOUR:
Meal: Baked Potato Soup (I didn't really used a recipe on this one - high five to me. Basically I threw some chicken broth, potatoes, carrots and crushed red pepper into the crockpot for six hours, mashed it up and then added a cup of milk and six ounces of sour cream right before I served it.)
Verdict: Good, hearty and plenty of leftovers to put in the fridge and the freezer. Plus, the hubs liked it. Winner. 


Meal: Uganda-style Curry and Sugar Beans served over brown rice with Chapati (new recipe). I got this one from a lady named Annet who cooked at the orphanage we stayed at last year during our trip to Uganda. Seriously the best beans I'd ever tasted, so I begged her for the recipe. 
Verdict: The beans were a hit! They didn't taste quite like Annet's, but they were goooood and I loved the curry and sugar that the beans are mixed with. YUM. I was pretty proud of this one because Annet's recipe was a little vague, so I had to guess on a lot of stuff (like how much curry and how many/what type of beans to use). Looks like I may have gotten a little of my Grandma's cook-without-a-recipe gene after all!

So it turns out that cooking can be kinda fun. Especially the challenge of cooking cheap and healthy with what is on sale or with what we already have. That part of this process felt a little creative to me, so I actually liked it. (In fact, I spent yesterday morning flagging recipes to try in this cookbook. Just who do I think I am?) Throughout this Month O' Cooking, we had a lot of yummy food to eat (turns out I'm not an awful cook after all, I just lacked motivation) and I now have six new recipes that I can make and that I know my husband will like. Success! 

Dear Sweet Grandma Yoder,

Today, you are dancing on the streets of Heaven, no longer hindered by an earthly body. Or maybe you're playing beautiful hymns on a heavenly-tuned piano and the angles are singing along. Perhaps, you and the love of your earthly life are thanking God in person for all the times of joys and trials that He blessed your marriage with for 62 wonderful years. Thanking Him for your 100 descendents and the legacy of faith, love and laughter that you were allowed to leave them. And I am sure that you have heard Him say the words, "Well done good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord."

You loved us all so well. Even with 7 kids, 6 daughter/son-in-laws, 26 grandkids, 18 grandkid-in-laws, 40 great-grand-kids (with 3 more on the way), you managed to make each and every one of us feel special, favored and cherished. You remembered every birthday and even little significant tidbits that lined up with our lives. Like that the silo on the homestead farm caught fire on my birthday one year on July 31st. 


Your example of love and joy created a legacy of strong, happy families and marriages. The sweet adoration you showed to Grandpa for sixty-two years is something we have all looked to as an example. Even at your fifty-year anniversary party, I can remember you glowing with love like a newly-wed bride. And the best piece of marriage advice I ever received, I heard from you. "Don't waste your energy arguing," you told me with a mischievous glimmer in your eye, "save it for more fun things." Well then.



I know life changes and nothing lasts forever, but I wish Weston and Isaac could have experienced summers on the Farm. Those times are my favorite memories from my childhood. Climbing on the hay bales, drinking chocolate Quik (mixed with fresh, whole milk that you gathered that morning from the barn), dancing to the hymns and nursery rhymes you'd play on the piano, waking up to the sound of Grandpa and Uncle Tim yelling at the cows to come in. All of these times are precious to me and I wish there was some magical way for my boys to have memories with you like that. They would have adored you. 



I'm so glad you were able to pat my twin belly last summer when I came to visit. You were so excited about that and my favorite picture of you and I will always be of that moment. 


I'm sad you're gone. I'm sad that so much of my life was spent living on the other side of the country from you. I'm sad I don't have more memories with you. I'm sad for those of us who are left behind to miss you. But out-weighing my sadness is a overwhelming joy for you that you are finally Home. I know you were ready and I'm so glad you are finally were your heart longed to be. You lived ninety-one full, happy years and you are now seeing first-hand the promises of the scriptures you so steadfastly read and believed in. And I am thrilled for you.

It is hard to imagine that you are not here any longer. It almost seems like you're still just a few thousand miles away and we're just between visits. Which we are in a way. So that is what I'll think about today and in the years to come when I miss you so badly. We're just between visits and I'll see you soon. I miss you Grandma and love you so much. 


Love,
Jennifer

Beaded Crosses: Easter Sale

EDIT 4/2/12: This sale has ended. If you would still like to purchase a cross at regular price, please visit etsy.com/shop/jhcraftynotions 

• • •

If you know me at all, you know I'm creative. Art, photography, graphic design, writing, crafting, decorating - all of it. I love it. And while there are very few days that I miss being in the work force, I do miss having a daily, creative outlet. Now that I'm home full-time with my sweet boys, one way I keeping my creativity alive amidst the diapers, laundry and baby-talking is by making and selling beaded crosses. 

Since Easter is coming up in just a couple of weeks, I thought I'd offer a special deal on some crosses that I currently have in stock. The handmade, beaded crosses are 3.5" tall, come in a gift box and include a ribbon for hanging. They are normally $30.00 each (shipping included for U.S. addresses), BUT if you order one of the crosses below before March 31st, I'll drop the price to $25.00 and have it shipped to you in time for Easter (U.S. addresses only). You can email me your order and payments can be made via PaypPal. Please mention this Easter Sale in your email and include your mailing address. First come, first served.

Crosses available in time for Easter:

 Desert Sunset*

(shades of purple with red and gold accents)

One Available for Easter

The Dark Before the Dawn*

(shades of gray, black and navy)

Two One Available for Easter

New Life*

(shades of green with gold accents)

One Available for Easter

We're All in This Together*
(multi-colored and made with magazine beads from Uganda, Africa.) 

50% of the proceeds from this cross will be donated to feed the poor of Uganda click here for details.

One Available for Easter

Pretty in Pearls*

(shades of pink with pearl accents)

One Available for Easter

If you are interested in ordering additional crosses (that you don't need before Easter) head on over to my Crafty Notions site and peruse more of my handy work. 

*Please note: Because they are handmade, the pattern of beading will vary slightly on each cross. Crosses pictured are samples only. 

But I don't want to be a mommy blog...

There is nothing wrong with mommy blogs. There are a number of really good mommy blogs that I enjoy reading and have gained some much-needed encouragement and wisdom from. Moms have a lot of really great (and entertaining) things to share sometimes. And after just one short month of being a stay-at-home mom, I can totally see how mommy blogs are a sometimes essential bridge to social sanity for the women reading and writing them. It's just that I never wanted this space - my little spot to reflect, share and talk about topics that I find meaningful, fun or interesting - to morph into a mommy blog where I only ever talk about my kids (not that my kids aren't meaningful, fun or interesting to me... awkward silence...).


The thing is though, my life itself has morphed into a world predominately conquered by my kids and it's hard to come up with anything interesting to write about that doesn't revolve around the twins (who, while lovable, adorable five-months-olds, are not all that interesting). On top of that: mommy-brain is a doozy and holding down a thought long enough to wrestle it into a fully-form sentence seems nearly impossible most of the time.


So here my blog sits - unable to assert itself as much at the moment because it's run by a gal trying to grasp her new identity and adjust to being a full-time, stay-at-home wife and mother. Poor blog. Do not loose hope my digital friend, you will rise again. Someday, ponderous tidbits and amusing stories will once again flow across your htlm-coded pages. Cling to that little blog. Cling to it like boogers on a baby's nose (dang it - mommy blogging).


So yeah. The adjustment to my new career as a nanny/laundress/cook/maid/mom/wife or what is now considered the p.c. term - "a home manager" - is slow going. Some days I absolutely love it. Some days I just want to pawn my wee babes off on anyone who is willing to take them for a few hours (days??) so I can go on a mental vacation and spend some quiet, quality time just me and Joe (as in, Mr. Cup O'). But every day, no matter what the joys, stresses or boredoms, I am truly grateful to be home and able to pour more energy into my husband and kids. It's a blessing. And while I'm struggling with wondering if the daily tasks of a stay-at-home mama is "enough" in light of so many needs and troubles in this world (which press so heavily on my heart), I am praying that God will show me how I can best serve Him and others without neglecting the new responsibilities He has place lovingly in my arms.


This time last year I was on my way to Uganda, Africa to love and serve some beautiful, precious people. A big chunk of my heart still pulls me towards them - to their needs and to their inspiring hope and faith in God. I don't want to forget them as I care for my own. While tending to my two small babies, I don't want to forget the mother somewhere who is struggling to feed and provide for her little ones. While loving my hard-working husband, I don't want to forget about the family whose husband/father is without a job, or worse, whose husband/father has abandoned them or been taken by disease or hunger. I do not want to get so caught up in loving my own that I neglect loving others. Caring for my family is a wonderful gift and calling, but it is causing tension as I navigate this new season. My mom/wife heart and my justice/mercy heart are trying to figure out how to live under the same roof.


At the core of all this is the fact that I don't want my sons growing up thinking the world is only about them. I want them to truly love others more than themselves and deeply care about the poor around the world. And I have to teach them this by my own actions. Tension exists here because how do I deeply love others while also having enough left in me to deeply love this little family God has blessed me with? I don't know yet. My "doing" in regards to the mercy/justice side of things might be in a resting season for a little while during this tender time of caring for my little ones and if that is the case, I have to learn to be okay with that.


Still... if I start writing less and less about orphans and the poor and more and more about boogers and diapers, somebody please hack into my account and put this blog out of its misery. Thank you.

Goal #21 Complete: Art Walk

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here.
Goal #21: Attend an Art Walk in downtown Scottsdale and dress to the nine.
(insert here the sound of life throwing on the brakes and dropping a set of twins in our laps)


Now let's revamp that goal a little to fit the reality of our new life:

Goal #21: Attend an Art Walk in downtown Scottsdale Chandler and dress to the nine in a trendy fashion suitable for parents carrying around four-month-old twins. COMPLETE

Here's the thing, Scottsdale is a little hoity-toity. The quiet, indoor galleries featured during the monthly Art Walk often have wine and cheese served. Not exactly the most conducive attmoshere to be carting around (potential fussy) twinfants. Also, if one is carting around twinfants, "dressing to the nine" is kind of a waste as one will (very) likely end the night with one's fancy clothes covered in drool, spit-up, tears, pee, poop or some combination of the afore mentioned bodily expulsions. 

So, with those things in mind, I reworked this goal a bit and Devin and I (twins in tow) attended an Art Walk that was just around the corner, in very our own downtown Chandler. It was casual, outdoors and five minutes from home (in case of a twin melt down). We did not "dress to the nine" per-say, but we did rock some baby carriers. And nothing says "trendy fashion" like a modern baby wrap that matches your "artsy hipster" attire.

We invited Devin's parents to join us and had a really nice evening, concluded by enjoying some delicious handmade fruit bars at Paleta Betty's. Goal completed.

Goal #16 COMPLETE: Top 100 Books

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here.   

Goal #16 COMPLETE: Read ten books off of the BBC’s Top 100 Books list 

Being an avid reader, I'm actually surprised that it took me so long to complete this goal (never mind that I gave birth to twins four months ago and have been a smidge busy since). The lengthy completion could also have something to do with the fact that I spent a lot of time on the library hold list waiting to borrow all these books because I was too cheap frugal to buy them. Also, some of the books weren't quite as thrilling as I had hoped and it took me a while to find the motivation to finish them. While I love a good book and will stay up into the wee hours of the night page turning, I also have a bad habit of finishing books that I don't like. If I've invested three or four chapters worth of time into a fiction novel, chances are I'll finish it even if I think it's horrible. Which is, I'll admit, a little stupid (okay, fine, a lot of stupid).


After reading these literary classics (according to BBC's list) I feel only slightly more classy and cultured myself. Maybe I didn't have a clear picture of the historical significance of these books or perhaps I am not enough of an enlightened intellectual to "get it", but I was super unimpressed, even disturbed by some of the books that fell under the "classic" category. Some were good, a couple were great, most were just okay or just plain blah.


So here is what I read and what I thought:

Jane Erye: I really enjoyed this book. The story dragged in some places (which is normal for books from this era), but overall I was intrigued by the plot and the characters. I loved the story of redemption and renewal that was woven throughout the book - it made the horribly tragic parts so worth it in the end. It was the first of the ten I read and it was a great book to start this goal with!

Animal Farm: While I understand that this book is an interesting, historical allegory about the Russian Revolution, I just thought it was mostly weird. However, I can see why it is read in high schools as I'm sure it is a great tool for demonstrating creative and allegorical writing while teaching about historical events at the same time.

Holes: This book was so fun and is an excellent introduction to irony for young readers. Plus, the content is squeaky-clean, so I would have no problem recommending it to any young person.

Nineteen-Eighty-Four: At first I was completely sucked into and freaked out by the world of 1984 created by Wells. I even lay awake one night with thoughts of, "Holy smokes! What if that actually were to happen?!" However, the more I read the more I was surprised that this book was in the teen section. Sexual expression and promiscuity drive a large part of the plot. Which "makes sense" in the world of the book, but it was still unfortunate that it was included. There are many parts in the book that just sorta left me with a sick knot in my stomach, though not all for crude reasons. In the end, while I have mixed feelings about the book, it was a terrifying and fascinating story with a very Twilight Zone conclusion. 

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Amusing. Strange. Odd. Weird. Definitely different. Pretty much completely pointless (which I think, ironically, was the whole point.) I liked the movie better (which I don't think I have ever said about a book.) And... That's about all I can say. 

The Count of Monte Cristo: This is one of my favorite movies of all time, so I was excited to finally read the book that inspired it. I was not disappointed. An excellent story that even with 900 pages of small type kept me engaged (nearly) the whole time (there were some historical backdrop scenes that dragged on a bit). The only downfall? I had to check it out from the library four times, because even though I'm a fast reader, I couldn't get through those 900 pages in the allotted two-week check-out time. And since I was apparently not the only one checking this book out, my reading was interrupted by one-to-two-weeks on the hold list every time I return it. 

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: This was one of my favorite movies growing up (both Disney's animated version and the super-weird live action version (which my dad somehow tracked down for me for Christmas this year)). However, the book made for a very strange reading experience. And the ending was lame. I hate lame endings. Makes me want to throw books across the room (fortunately for Alice, I was reading on my Kindle).

A Prayer for Owen Meany: This story was pretty tragic. The graphic, final chapters were burned into my mind's eye night after night once I finished it and it was not pretty. There was also this bitter, anti-war, anti- America diatribe that the main character/narrator weaved throughout the story that got really old and boring fast. Also, it was very crude in places and there was a lot of language. I will say however that the symbolism and foreshadowing used in this story was phenomenal - haunting even. 

Wuthering Heights: I have four younger siblings, so I can understand a little sibling rivalry (which is part of the reason I chose this book). I also get that different kids have different talent/styles/interest/etc. But personally, I thought Emily Brontë fell way short of what her sister, Charrolete Brontë, achieved in Jane Erye. Wuthering Heights was very close to the antithesis of Jane Erye. Maybe that was the point, but there was so much darkness in the story and no hope; no redemption; no purpose to the pain and evil caused by the actions of the characters. I really hated it. 

The Great Gatsby: This was the book that my readers most recommended. I'm sorry to say that I was not blown away by it. I did appreciate how poetically it was written, but the story itself didn't do much for me. Despite this, I kinda was to see the new movie version when it comes out in December. I don't know why. Maybe because I really like what I've seen so far from Carrie Mulligan (she'll play Daisy) and want to see her in another film.


So that's that. I think I'm going to stay away from the supposed "classics" for a while and read some things that actually matter and might make a difference in my life (maybe I'll start with Marla's on-line reading group that is going through 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. More details here). Or at the very least I'll read books that offer a relaxing and entertaining diversion. Which means I probably should should stop wasting time finishing books that I hate just because I've already read the first few chapters...


Anyone else reading something good right now? 

Goal #92: Staying Home - COMPLETE

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here. 


Goal #92: Work from home full-time - COMPLETE


I wrote before about how having twins, or even one baby, was never part of my Project 101 in 1001 list-of-things-to-do-at-this-point-in-my-life. The "plan" was to do the things on my List in preparation for starting a family, but my plans got turned topsy-turvy when we found out I was pregnant, and with twins!


This new turn of events made it a priority to complete Goal #92 a little sooner than planned and on February 1, 2012, I joyfully celebrated my first day as a stay-at-home mom (who also works a little from home here and there). 


Completing this goal at this time pretty much guarantees that I won't complete some other goals on my List (mainly the travel ones - they cost time and money that we just don't have right now). I'm a little disappointed. But really, in the long run, traveling to New England in the fall (Goal # 94) or staying at a bed and breakfast (Goal #99) pale in comparison with staying home with my little ones (when they are still little) and being able to invest the time into my family that I long to. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had stayed at my full-time job. 


I am so grateful to even have this option, because I know a lot of mamas who want to stay home and just can't. I'm grateful for a hard-working husband who encouraged me to stay home with our boys and who has taken over the role as sole provider with such a go-getter, positive attitude. I'm grateful for the frugality and debt-free living that gave us the freedom to make this choice.  And I'm grateful for the peace that comes when I lay my future in God's hands as the Ultimate Provider. I am excited to see what doors He may open and the lessons He may teach us as we take this step of faith.


Becoming a stay-at-home mom and "household manager" full-time will be an adjustment for sure. I know there might be days were I miss being a career women with my own identity, using my skill-set in the workplace. And I know that there will be times when I miss the "more than enough" money that we had at our disposal. To be honest, I'm a little nervous to see how I'll handle the transition. I'm hoping that I will love staying home as much as I think I will, but I'm sure there will be "those days".

My dear friend Ashley gave me some amazing encouragement on this subject which comes to mind every time I have the panicked thought of, "What have I done?! What if I hate being at home and completely loose my marbles????" Which is surprisingly often, even being as confident as I am that this was the right choice for our family. 


Ashley (who is way more level-headed than me) said, "It won't always be easy or fun or feel like the best job in the world, but you will know that you are doing God's will and that is what matters most. You will be pouring your life into the most important people in your life, your husband and children." 


I think about the sometimes daily hourly frustrations I used to face at work and compare that with the frustrations of motherhood/homemaking and I realize that the "sweat and blood" days of staying at home will be worth it in the end, because the end results is that I'm putting my efforts into serving and loving my family. Compare that with the sweat and blood effort of serving "The Man" at a job that in the end, is just a job (and one that I did not love), and the decision to make motherhood my new career becomes easy and even thrilling.


So, here I go! I'm embarking on a dream-come-true (as I have always wanted to be able to stay home with my kids) and though I have very little idea as to what to expect out of this new phase in my life, I am bubbling with joy and anticipation. Wish me luck - prayers appreciated!

My new "employers"