Goal #16 COMPLETE: Top 100 Books

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here.   

Goal #16 COMPLETE: Read ten books off of the BBC’s Top 100 Books list 

Being an avid reader, I'm actually surprised that it took me so long to complete this goal (never mind that I gave birth to twins four months ago and have been a smidge busy since). The lengthy completion could also have something to do with the fact that I spent a lot of time on the library hold list waiting to borrow all these books because I was too cheap frugal to buy them. Also, some of the books weren't quite as thrilling as I had hoped and it took me a while to find the motivation to finish them. While I love a good book and will stay up into the wee hours of the night page turning, I also have a bad habit of finishing books that I don't like. If I've invested three or four chapters worth of time into a fiction novel, chances are I'll finish it even if I think it's horrible. Which is, I'll admit, a little stupid (okay, fine, a lot of stupid).


After reading these literary classics (according to BBC's list) I feel only slightly more classy and cultured myself. Maybe I didn't have a clear picture of the historical significance of these books or perhaps I am not enough of an enlightened intellectual to "get it", but I was super unimpressed, even disturbed by some of the books that fell under the "classic" category. Some were good, a couple were great, most were just okay or just plain blah.


So here is what I read and what I thought:

Jane Erye: I really enjoyed this book. The story dragged in some places (which is normal for books from this era), but overall I was intrigued by the plot and the characters. I loved the story of redemption and renewal that was woven throughout the book - it made the horribly tragic parts so worth it in the end. It was the first of the ten I read and it was a great book to start this goal with!

Animal Farm: While I understand that this book is an interesting, historical allegory about the Russian Revolution, I just thought it was mostly weird. However, I can see why it is read in high schools as I'm sure it is a great tool for demonstrating creative and allegorical writing while teaching about historical events at the same time.

Holes: This book was so fun and is an excellent introduction to irony for young readers. Plus, the content is squeaky-clean, so I would have no problem recommending it to any young person.

Nineteen-Eighty-Four: At first I was completely sucked into and freaked out by the world of 1984 created by Wells. I even lay awake one night with thoughts of, "Holy smokes! What if that actually were to happen?!" However, the more I read the more I was surprised that this book was in the teen section. Sexual expression and promiscuity drive a large part of the plot. Which "makes sense" in the world of the book, but it was still unfortunate that it was included. There are many parts in the book that just sorta left me with a sick knot in my stomach, though not all for crude reasons. In the end, while I have mixed feelings about the book, it was a terrifying and fascinating story with a very Twilight Zone conclusion. 

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Amusing. Strange. Odd. Weird. Definitely different. Pretty much completely pointless (which I think, ironically, was the whole point.) I liked the movie better (which I don't think I have ever said about a book.) And... That's about all I can say. 

The Count of Monte Cristo: This is one of my favorite movies of all time, so I was excited to finally read the book that inspired it. I was not disappointed. An excellent story that even with 900 pages of small type kept me engaged (nearly) the whole time (there were some historical backdrop scenes that dragged on a bit). The only downfall? I had to check it out from the library four times, because even though I'm a fast reader, I couldn't get through those 900 pages in the allotted two-week check-out time. And since I was apparently not the only one checking this book out, my reading was interrupted by one-to-two-weeks on the hold list every time I return it. 

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: This was one of my favorite movies growing up (both Disney's animated version and the super-weird live action version (which my dad somehow tracked down for me for Christmas this year)). However, the book made for a very strange reading experience. And the ending was lame. I hate lame endings. Makes me want to throw books across the room (fortunately for Alice, I was reading on my Kindle).

A Prayer for Owen Meany: This story was pretty tragic. The graphic, final chapters were burned into my mind's eye night after night once I finished it and it was not pretty. There was also this bitter, anti-war, anti- America diatribe that the main character/narrator weaved throughout the story that got really old and boring fast. Also, it was very crude in places and there was a lot of language. I will say however that the symbolism and foreshadowing used in this story was phenomenal - haunting even. 

Wuthering Heights: I have four younger siblings, so I can understand a little sibling rivalry (which is part of the reason I chose this book). I also get that different kids have different talent/styles/interest/etc. But personally, I thought Emily Brontë fell way short of what her sister, Charrolete Brontë, achieved in Jane Erye. Wuthering Heights was very close to the antithesis of Jane Erye. Maybe that was the point, but there was so much darkness in the story and no hope; no redemption; no purpose to the pain and evil caused by the actions of the characters. I really hated it. 

The Great Gatsby: This was the book that my readers most recommended. I'm sorry to say that I was not blown away by it. I did appreciate how poetically it was written, but the story itself didn't do much for me. Despite this, I kinda was to see the new movie version when it comes out in December. I don't know why. Maybe because I really like what I've seen so far from Carrie Mulligan (she'll play Daisy) and want to see her in another film.


So that's that. I think I'm going to stay away from the supposed "classics" for a while and read some things that actually matter and might make a difference in my life (maybe I'll start with Marla's on-line reading group that is going through 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. More details here). Or at the very least I'll read books that offer a relaxing and entertaining diversion. Which means I probably should should stop wasting time finishing books that I hate just because I've already read the first few chapters...


Anyone else reading something good right now? 

Goal #92: Staying Home - COMPLETE

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here. 


Goal #92: Work from home full-time - COMPLETE


I wrote before about how having twins, or even one baby, was never part of my Project 101 in 1001 list-of-things-to-do-at-this-point-in-my-life. The "plan" was to do the things on my List in preparation for starting a family, but my plans got turned topsy-turvy when we found out I was pregnant, and with twins!


This new turn of events made it a priority to complete Goal #92 a little sooner than planned and on February 1, 2012, I joyfully celebrated my first day as a stay-at-home mom (who also works a little from home here and there). 


Completing this goal at this time pretty much guarantees that I won't complete some other goals on my List (mainly the travel ones - they cost time and money that we just don't have right now). I'm a little disappointed. But really, in the long run, traveling to New England in the fall (Goal # 94) or staying at a bed and breakfast (Goal #99) pale in comparison with staying home with my little ones (when they are still little) and being able to invest the time into my family that I long to. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had stayed at my full-time job. 


I am so grateful to even have this option, because I know a lot of mamas who want to stay home and just can't. I'm grateful for a hard-working husband who encouraged me to stay home with our boys and who has taken over the role as sole provider with such a go-getter, positive attitude. I'm grateful for the frugality and debt-free living that gave us the freedom to make this choice.  And I'm grateful for the peace that comes when I lay my future in God's hands as the Ultimate Provider. I am excited to see what doors He may open and the lessons He may teach us as we take this step of faith.


Becoming a stay-at-home mom and "household manager" full-time will be an adjustment for sure. I know there might be days were I miss being a career women with my own identity, using my skill-set in the workplace. And I know that there will be times when I miss the "more than enough" money that we had at our disposal. To be honest, I'm a little nervous to see how I'll handle the transition. I'm hoping that I will love staying home as much as I think I will, but I'm sure there will be "those days".

My dear friend Ashley gave me some amazing encouragement on this subject which comes to mind every time I have the panicked thought of, "What have I done?! What if I hate being at home and completely loose my marbles????" Which is surprisingly often, even being as confident as I am that this was the right choice for our family. 


Ashley (who is way more level-headed than me) said, "It won't always be easy or fun or feel like the best job in the world, but you will know that you are doing God's will and that is what matters most. You will be pouring your life into the most important people in your life, your husband and children." 


I think about the sometimes daily hourly frustrations I used to face at work and compare that with the frustrations of motherhood/homemaking and I realize that the "sweat and blood" days of staying at home will be worth it in the end, because the end results is that I'm putting my efforts into serving and loving my family. Compare that with the sweat and blood effort of serving "The Man" at a job that in the end, is just a job (and one that I did not love), and the decision to make motherhood my new career becomes easy and even thrilling.


So, here I go! I'm embarking on a dream-come-true (as I have always wanted to be able to stay home with my kids) and though I have very little idea as to what to expect out of this new phase in my life, I am bubbling with joy and anticipation. Wish me luck - prayers appreciated!

My new "employers"

Goal #26 COMPLETE: Media Fast

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here. 


Goal #26: Do a ten-day “Media Fast” – no TV, movies or non-work-related internet use. COMPLETE 



Um. That was rough. Way harder than it should have been. It definitely offered confirming (condemning??) evidence that I was way too addict to my media outlets (the internet specifically... facebook more accurately).


Ten days without TV - not too bad since we don't even have our television hooked into anything but the DVD player and the only "TV" I watch are two shows online (Up All Night and Grimm in case you were curious). Ten days with out movies - not too bad as I was busy finishing up my last week at work and was exhausted/not up for staying up late for a movie. Ten days without email, google, blogging or ::gulp:: facebook. The facebook fast nearly did me in - I was twitching by the second day and caught myself craning my neck to catch a visual whiff of Devin's page whenever he was on. Pathetic. 


Yes. I am a compulsive facebook checker. It's a problem and I'm dealing with it. 


So, ten-days without media was - while hard, inconvenient and irritating at times - a real eye opener to how much time I completely waste on media (especially online stuff). Without it in my life for ten days, I suddenly had time to read (working on Organized Simplicity and The Simplicity Primer at the moment), talk with Devin, play on the floor with my babies and keep the apartment (semi) tidy. It was actually really great. I also was able to get a little more sleep... which ::grimace:: I am not getting by staying up to write this blog... and to check facebook... and to catch up on emails... I haven't even begun catching up on reading my favorite blogs...


Hmmm... It might be a little counter-productive (or hypocritical perhaps?) to try and smoosh ten-days worth of missed media into tonight. Okay... I am ripping myself from the computer and going bed. Just like a BandAid - quick, painless and immediate... just as soon as I check facebook one last time.


Dang it. 

Simplicity

Even the word itself - simplicity - rolls off the tongue and floats through the mind like some delightful, whispered secret. I spelled it out in scrabble letters on my fridge and even loved the way the word looked.

But more than that - I love what the word can mean. When I think about what simplicity means, it conjures a feeling that is like an emotional lungful of fresh air after being choked in a polluted city for months or years. I look around my small apartment, that in reality is more than enough space for the four of us, and feel choked at times by the amount of stuff and clutter around me. 


Yes, I know I have two small babies and the messiness of a young family is going to be a part of my life for many years to come, but I can't help feeling that there is still just Too Much. Too much to look at, to much to clean, too much to organize, too much to pick up and too much to find a place for (don't even get me started on the Too Much of our possessions compared to the rest of the world). If the Too Much was lessened - simplified - to only the things that we really needed and loved, this place we called home would not only take me less time to clean and maintain, but could turn into a welcoming haven rather than a stuffed-to-the-brim kingdom of Stuff. 


There are so many other reasons that The Stuff has me itching to purge. Two of the big ones being that I want to be able to welcome people over to our home on a moment's notice without wondering how much clutter I'll have to clear away before they'll have a place to sit. And two, our lease is up in December. I don't know if we'll move and if we move I don't know where to, but I do know that if we stay here I can not live in this clutter and if we move somewhere else I'll be darned if I pack, unpack and find a new place for anything that I don't truly need or love. December is a ways away, but I also have to be realistic - I've got infant twins and de-cluttering this whole apartment in a major way is going take some serious time. Time that needs to be spread gently over a long stretch of months so I don't stress myself (and my family) out. My goal in finding simplicity is about creating a haven of peace in our home and overcommitting in order to purge will do nothing to create peace in the interim. 


In honor of my new journey towards simplicity - our apartment first and along with it our life and focus as a family - I've redesigned my blog with something clean and uncomplicated. Much like the clutter of my apartment, the layers and layers of this blog's design suddenly made me cringe to look at. And unlike the clutter of my apartment, I can revamp this blog while one of the twins sleeps on my lap. 

Oh, I probably should have mentioned that I'm reading Organized Simplicity right now which is why am about to go NUTS on this apartment! I'm just itching to be home full time so I can start simplifying this place. Watch out material things - I'm about to get'cha.

My New Career Path

My first day back at work after my maternity leave was like a breath of fresh air. The six weeks I had spent away had been filled with sleep deprivation, the stress of new motherhood and lots and lots of crying (from the twins and from me). For at least four of those six weeks I felt like my life and myself had been sucked from me and going back to work was a welcomed break. I felt horribly guilty for these feelings (mother guilt is awful isn't it?), but thought perhaps I was just one of those women who was a better mom when she had a break from her kiddos for a little while. 


But as my boys continued to grow, when they started to smile at me and the wonder of new discoveries started to shine in their eyes, it got harder and harder to go to work each day (even though I was only in the office three days a week). Motherhood started to become something I enjoyed and meeting the needs of our household (cooking, cleaning and being a helpmate to Devin) became something I longed to do more than ever before. I also began to realize that eventually, the meals, the baby-sitting and the extra help that friends and family had so generously lavished on us after the twins' birth would eventually dwindle and somehow I would have to mange my family responsibilities and my full-time job all on my own. It would be too much and I knew it. 


But "Jen the Designer" was such a huge part of my identity. It was who I was and how I introduced myself to people. (Okay I didn't actually say, "Hello, I'm Jen the Designer," - pretentious much? - but you know what I mean.) Being a graphic designer at an agency was a "cool kid's" job and I was good at it. But now I had this competing identity of "Jen the Mom" that, while I resented at times, was becoming more and more important to me. At the same time, I was afraid that "Jen the Mom" would completely swallow up any other identifying qualities that I had and I would completely loose myself. 


Then there was the money issue - how could we double the size of our family and half our income? We'd always been frugal, but by choice, not by necessity. There is a big different between the two. Plus, I felt huge guilt at the thought of quitting my job and putting the full financial burden on Devin's shoulders. That is, until Devin (who watched the twins on Mondays) was just about at the end of his rope as "Mr. Mom" and I asked him, "Which would be less stress on you - finding another part-time job or staying home with the babies on Mondays so I can still work?" Without hesitation he replied, "Finding another part time job. Jen, you are a better mom than I am." 


So, after a few more weeks of wrestling with my guilt and identity issues, I put in my resignation at work. Starting February 1st, I will have the blessing and honor of switching careers to become a full time mom and wife. I will also be able to assist Devin more with his photography business and pick up some freelance design work here and there. My heart is so full of joy at this decision and while I know it will mean some sacrifices, adjustments and changes, I'm confident that it will be worth it and will be something Devin and I will never regret doing. 


The day I finally decided to quit my job, I came across this quote and it made my decision firm: "If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. No one said it would be easy, they only promised that it would be worth it."  

Fevers and Coughing and Tissues - Oh My!

It's "Weekend of the Crud" here at the Hanson house and I'm your host, Jennifer Hanson of "Mama's Can't Take Sick Days." 


Isaac's got a horribly running nose and had a fever last night (scared the new mama pants off of me until I read this comforting, "don't panic" article from Dr. Sears.) All he wants is to be held and cuddled (so thankful for my baby carrier - I'm wearing him now and he's resting peacefully.) Weston's got a awful cough and can't seem to keep much down. I've got a sore throat and Devin's been fighting lung congestion for about a month. Oy. 


This is a parenting first for me - this whole, "you're the mama and have a sick family to take care of, suck it up if you're sick too" thing. It feels a little like the newborn days when the boys would both be crying and I couldn't figure out how to comfort them. Poor little guys. 


I remember when I was growing up and my mom would get really sick but insist that she wasn't. I thought she was nuts not to rest when she was obviously feeling miserable. I understand now - there were just too many other things and little people to take care of for her to worry about herself. Thanks for taking care of us Mom and I'm sorry we didn't/couldn't let you rest more when you were sick too. 


I'm not complaining - I promise. Just pondering the sometimes still inconceivable reality that I'M now the Mama who can't take a sick day and has to find the energy somewhere to care for her little family despite feeling stinky herself.


Speaking of stinky - I've been covered in snot, spit-up and drool for the past two days. I should probably take a shower... Oops - the boys are waking up and want to be fed, cuddled, changed and have their noses wiped (okay, they don't really want that last one, they HATE having their noses cleaned. I didn't realize that hatred started at such a young age.) I'm grateful The Daddy is here today too and can offer an extra set of arms for the babies to cuddle in.

Homemade Christmas and Completing Goal #34

More progress on my Project 101 in 1001 list. Read about my journey here. 
Goal #34: For Christmas one year, hand-make all gifts - COMPLETE


As I was looking over my list of goals and realizing that this Christmas was when I had planned to make all my gifts, I thought that surely I would loose my mind if I tired. Had I any clue (which I didn't, not even close) last Christmas that this Christmas I would be a mama to twins, I would have gone to great lengths to complete this goal in 2010. But as life would have it, I had the goal of making all my Christmas gifts in 2011... while caring for two-month-old twins. 


So for starters, to keep my sanity, I had to loosely re-define the word "all." This year "all" my gifts didn't include the ones that Devin picked out (i.e. for most of the guys in our family) (which is good because it is really hard to make gifts for guys.) "All" also turned into "(most of) all." As in: "hand-make (most of) all gifts." So while many of my gift were hand-made, parts of them included purchased gifts (such as gift cards and picture frames). Lastly, I didn't make Devin's gift because 1) He's a guy and as mentioned before, that is a tough species to make gifts for and 2) I spent nine months of 2011 "making" him the gift of our twins sons, so I figured I got a pass with that one. 


While I initially thought this goal would be the end of me, it turned out to be really great. I love art and making crafts and it's something I haven't done much of since being pregnant and certainly not after the twins were first born. It was very relaxing and therapeutic to have something to do (besides sleep, which I did neglect while completing this goal) that was fun and used my artistic talents. It made me feel like me again, which seemed a lofty experience when caring for twins nearly 24/7. Turns out the timing of this goal was exactly what I needed. 


Here are the gifts I made this year:

Shanty 2 Chic inspired recipe/photo holders (I added the monogram for a little something extra)

Reversible Superman/Batman capes for my nephews (who are potty training right now, so along with the capes they received superhero big boy undies)

A "Celebrate" banner for my mom (inspired by my cousin Bethany)

Fabric headbands for my sisters and soon-to-be sis-in-law

A graphic map for my brother and (soon-to-be) sis-in-law of thier favorite city and hometown, Tucson. (This was the one gift I made for a guy - per his request.)

Plus, my parents got revamped frames full of pictures that Devin and I took of these cutie pies (see more here and here):

Thus, project "Homemade Christmas" was a great success and a lot of fun!