Double Denial

A friend requested that I do a little pregnancy update over here on the blog, so here I am to give you a peak inside some of the twin-mama brain activity (or lack there of) happening right now.

Pregnant with Twins at 25 Weeks:

The other day, my sister-in-law asked Devin and I what stage we were at in regards to preparing for the twins (meaning – nursery set-up, shopping, names, etc). Without even looking at each other, Devin and I answered her question in a sort-of dazed deadpan. “Denial,” we said in tandem.

Yep major, big time, not-much-is-getting-done-because-of-it denial going on over here. Seriously – the babies could arrive in 12 weeks (hopefully no sooner) and we gotta snap out of this. Which would probably be easier if we weren’t both so exhausted (Devin from working at 3:00am, me from not sleeping well and growing two humans inside of me). 

What's more, according to all my twin-mama friends, that little burst of nesting energy in the second trimester just doesn't happen with twin pregnancies. Which is a bummer because I was kinda counting on that. Instead I've got denial and an ever-increasing pile of To Do's.

Examples:

I should probably be stocking up on all the money-saving, baby item deals that my mama friends keep sending me. But when I see the deals I think, “We’ve got time, I don’t need to get that just yet.” Then by the time I’ve convince myself that we don’t in fact have a ton of time, the deal is already gone.

I should probably be reading some sort of literature (even if it’s just one book) about what to do after the twins arrive. I’ve educated myself on how I’d like to get them here, just not what to do with them once they arrive. Now, I’m the oldest of five and was thirteen by the time sibling #2 arrived, so I did my share of diaper duty, bottle feeding and rocking fussy babies. I know that I'm probably more prepared than many first-time mamas, yet I still feel something akin to panic coming on.

I should probably do something about our half-baked nursery that doesn't even have the basics ready. The crib for example - I've heard that's kinda the number one basic to have ready. However, the one-of-two cribs that is assembled is currently being used as storage space for all the baby stuff that I have no idea what to do with or where to put (which is pretty much all of it). 

So all of this - and a slew of other To Do's - have landed me in this state of overwhelmed-to-the-point-of-inactivity called "denial." It doesn't help that there are some potential events such as bed rest or early labor that could cut down my "get it done" time considerably. You'd think that would motivated me - but no such luck. 

There are a few things that are getting done - I'm eating healthy, I'm exercising, I'm going to my doctor's appointments and natural birthing classes. So my "pregnancy" basics are covered. Which is to say, I'm certainly not in denial that I'm pregnant, just that this pregnancy is inevitably due (har har) to produce two infants. And that, my friends, is something I just can't get my brain around enough to prepare for.